i never want to get married and have kids i want to be 40 and a highly successful director and show up to my high school reunion dressed entirely in yves saint laurent with blood red lipstick and louboutin heels that could penetrate a man’s soft flesh in the current year’s bmw convertible and wear chanel sunglasses the entire time even while indoors so i don’t have to hold eye contact with the little people
Gotta get in shape for my wedding. If Lilo can do it, I can do it!
I hate talking on the phone but that’s what it means to grow up
literally the entirety of adulthood is just making phone calls
"I waited too long to read the sequel, and now I can’t even remember the characters."
A novel by me
"I read the whole series in less than two days, and now can’t separate the events of individual books" the thrilling sequel
Youtube comments are basically an idiot convention. Like omg you’re a racist? me too! Sexist? Me too! Not very smart? Same! Wanna get together and comment on some videos?
Pregnant Ghost Bat having an ultrasound at Featherdale Wildlife Park
congrats it’s a bat
[delighted bat noises]
im really fucking sarcastic for someone who’s about to start crying most of the time
A very accurate depiction of a cat owner.